“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” - Mark Twain
When I was 15, the mere thought of talking to new people sent shivers down my spine. I'd break out in goosebumps, a rash itching from head to toe, and my words stumbled out in an uncontrollable stutter. My heart raced like it had its own agenda.
But here's the twist – the fear of speaking to new people still lingers today. What's changed, however, is how I confront and navigate those fears.
Viktor Frankl once said,
"Between stimulus and response lies a space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose a response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness."
So, here's what I've learned and put into practice:
Firstly, I intentionally thrust myself into situations where I faced my fears head-on daily. A simple 'Hi!' to anyone – on the bus, in shops, libraries, parks – became my daily challenge. The fear didn't vanish, but my response to it evolved into a new normal. With each "Hi!" I became a more confident speaker, not miraculously overnight, but gradually. I conquered my fear through consistent effort.
Secondly, I've made it a habit to ask myself, "What's the worst that can happen?" It's like a pep talk, preparing myself for potential embarrassment. Maybe I fully embarrass myself. Well, I can run away, disappear, and even if I'm spotted the next day, it can't get worse. Comfort zones provide a false sense of calm and safety. By asking meaningful questions, I often find that my fears are smaller and more exaggerated in my mind.
My lessons are also applicable in explaining how to overcome the fear of public speaking.
As you work towards mastering your own fears, don't rush it. There's no need for added pressure or a strict time frame. I hope you're able to learn applicable lessons from my experience. Go out there and conquer your fears – it's a journey, not a race.
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